Victor left for Welkom early on Christmas day as his father wanted him there because his mother was ill. He came back to Krugersdorp on January 2nd.
I wasn’t able to get a hold of Victor on his mobile phone most of the days while he was in Welkom, I only spoke to him briefly a few times when I was able to get through to him on his mobile phone.
I would call his parents’ house and ask to speak with him as I wasn’t able to when calling his mobile phone. His father would tell me that Victor was either in town, with his friend, Riaan or that “He was not there”. So I would ask Victor’s father if he could tell Victor to call me back. I called on New Year’s Eve to wish Victor a happy new year and I was told by his father that Victor was at a party at his old high school. And one time I called and I could hear Victor in the background speaking with his mother… So I thought that he was busy and once again asked to have Victor call me back.
Victor never called me back.
On the morning of the 2nd of January I called his parents’ to ask if he would be home for his birthday which was the next day. His mother answered the phone and I asked to speak with Victor…
Mrs K: Listen here, Sandra. You must stop calling here because Alexander doesn’t want to speak to you.
Me: And why is that exactly?
Mrs K: You must leave Alexander alone. He doesn’t need you. He has somebody new and wants nothing to do with you!
Me: Oh really? Then why hasn’t he told me that himself?
Mrs K: Oh, he did tell you!
Me: Um, excuse me?! He told me that he was coming home on Monday when I last spoke with him!
Mrs K: Well he doesn’t want anything to do with you ever again, just leave him alone.
Me: Right then… Bye!
I hung up the phone and shouted for my mother, “Mommy! Take me to the apartment, I’m packing up my stuff and coming back home!”.
I was about half done with the packing of my belongings at the apartment when Victor called me…
Me: What do you want?!
Victor: Hey I just want to let you know that I’m passing through Kroonstad and that I should be home in about two hours or so…
Me: Yeah right… You know what, fuck off!
Victor: What do you mean by “Fuck off”, Sandra what is going on?!
I told him that I was packing up my belongings and that I was leaving him. He sounded confused and asked me why. I then told him what his mother had told me over the phone… He asked me if I was serious, “No, hey?! I’m pulling this all out of my ass?!”.
After a few minutes of talking and explaining from both he and I, I told him that he should just hurry and get to the apartment so that we can talk. And that is exactly what we did when he got to the apartment. He told me that his parents hate me. No shit?! I asked him why he never returned my calls and he told me that his parents never told him that I had called for him and asked for him to call me back. And so with the fact that his parents recently started giving him grief about me and that they don’t want us together… Oh and that Victor’s father is helping with the bills and all because Victor hasn’t got work yet; I had no choice but to leave him.
Victor would have no support from his family if I had stayed because they wanted him to choose between themselves and me. They told him that they would disown him if he chose to be with me. So I called off the engagement and moved out of the apartment and back to my parents’ house.
Fucking bitch! She had to do this the day before his birthday. After many months of acting like she liked me when she really just hated me with a passion. I want an apology from her for lying to me and all. But Victor tells me that won’t happen.
But it’s all good!
Victor and I are still seeing each other despite what his parents want. And we plan on reengaging and move in together again sometime in the future. Victor says that he really wants that as soon as he is “Back on his feet” because then he is going to tell his parents that “He wants to be with me and that they should deal with it”. Or so he says…
I feel that when the time comes and if he still feels that is what he wants, then it will happen. I know that it is what I want, but who am I to stand in the way of him having a relationship with his parents?
If we do end up as we were before, in the future and get married and have children… His bitch of a mother can see photos of her grandchildren but I will not let her meet them. Ever! That’s how I feel about her right now, maybe that will change… Who knows?
Oh and today is our one year anniversary. I can’t believe how time has flown by!
Anyway what his parents don’t know won’t hurt them…
Hi! I found your blog on amatomu. I don’t know much about you and your life yet but if you don’t mind I’ll have a look around yoru blog?
I know exactly what you’re going through.
She’s such a bitch.
Gee wizz.
Kudos for you, standing your ground and not letting it get to you.
>.<
WOW, she is a bitch. I have had that happen to me, but thank god you guys worked everything out. I still would’ve been pissed that he didn’t call back / answer your phone calls at all. That would make me super suspicious. So… good luck baby dawl.
SleepyJane wrote:
You’re more than welcome to!
DarkPixie wrote:
I cried for that whole day after Victor’s mother had told me off. I was fine after that day though, which seems a little weird. But I had cried so much that I really just couldn’t cry anymore!
KayC wrote:
Yeah, I was very pissed at him because he never called, I was also very suspicious as to why he never called me back after I had left messages with his parents for him to do so. His parents never told him I called… I had lost all respect for his mother and his father that day.
First off, I registered! I am so, so, sorry you had to go through all of that with Victor’s parents. I can’t even say I would know what to do in a situation like that. I hope that his parents come to his senses and realize what a great girl you are and how happy Victor is with you.
I don’t understand why parents feel the need to get so deeply involved sometimes, because sometimes they just ruin things. Again, I am so sorry, and I hope this mess will be able to be worked out soon. =[ If you ever wanna vent my aim name is thegirlskirt. <33
Wow, that sounds so horrible. I would have been pissed. I don’t even know what else to say. I hope you are able to move on.
I don’t necessarily agree with how his parents are treating you (I’ve been in the same situation; interesting how it’s always the *mother* who acts this way…), but part of the reality of getting married to someone else is that you have to decide what’s more important to you (family or your partner). Victor’s situation is his own, despite your engagement, and he has to make the choice himself — and it sounds like he did, inadvertently. I’m sorry that he picked them instead of you, but that’s sometimes how it goes…
More importantly, you shouldn’t be so hasty to get engaged in the future. The next time you fall in love, spend 2-3 years *at least* getting to know them, their family, etc.. Then move in together, spend 2-3 more years that way, *then* decide to get married. Things change when you live with someone. I realise his parents were lying to you, but in 2-3 years you should be able to figure that out without drastic results (re: calling off an engagement). What I’m trying to say is that the decision to get married shouldn’t be made in haste, but in time. You’re young, beautiful, and you’ve got time ahead of you. Don’t rush it.
Fuck him, not them. I had a boyfriend who would constantly choose his mother over me - they would practically go on ‘dates’ and he would drop our plans at the last minute to go work out or watch a movie with her. I hated her the whole time we dated, until finally I realized that the problem isn’t her (although she definitely made things worse), but him for not standing up to her and picking me. Money from his parents or not, your anger should be directed at him. The family that comes first is the one you choose and he should be choosing you!
I hope things work out. I can’t even imagine ending an engagement.
That is so childish. So ridiculous. Mean.. such mean parents. Not wanting you two to be happy. I mean is it cause you both met over the net. Goshh. Words can’t even put together how much that annoys me. I don’t know what your going through, but I’m in a net relationship. We’ve get to met yet though.
So I can on imagaine the sheol, we’d might go through as well. But I really hope everything works out for you both.
Hey, your sites pretty cool. I’ve read your blog a few times, but never had anything to say untill now.
The way that you were treated on the phone by his mom was soo rude, good for you for standing your ground. Be strong girl. !
Thanks for the help! I have the code that will go in the site for “Listening To” but I don’t know where to stick it! When I put it in the loop code it shows up too high or at the very bottom… I want it right above the date.
I guess I’ll have to lurk the forums.
But thank you for your input - very helpful!
Hope your life is doing better.
Aww. *hugs* I hope that everything is going well with you. I don’t really know what to say……
Has he tried explaining to his parents how much he wants to be with you? You’re a wonderful person. I hope that they, at least, have a damn good reason for not liking you.