I have a new man in my life. We have known one another for just over three weeks now and had started dating a week after we had first met. This past Sunday marked one week of our dating and was the day I decided to tell my mother that he and I are dating..
What you are about to read is a (99% accurate) word-for-word transcript of what was said between my mother and I that night.
Me: Mommy, Bruce asked me to be his girlfriend and I said, ‘Yes’.
Mother: Don’t you do ever do that! Just grow up, just grow up!
Me: I’m just telling you…
Mother: Sandra, please! You will find somebody one day… Sandra, don’t do that!
Me: Why not… Why not?
Mother: Because you emotionally attach yourself too quickly to people…
Me: It’s not like that…
Mother: You just met him last week…
Me: No, I told you…
Mother: Oh please, Sandra!
Me: I just like him, he asked me and I said ‘Yes’.
Mother: For what? What does he want from you?!
Me: Nothing!
Mother: Does he want to make fun of you or does he want you to do something for him that is related to computers or what?
Me: No, nothing?!
Mother: You meet him one weekend and the next weekend you’re dating? That is rubbish!
Me: No, I told you that I had seen him like two times before!
Mother: Sandra, please! I don’t want to fight but you keep lying… Saying that you’ve seen him before…
Me: I didn’t… I didn’t lie!
Mother: Then where? Where?!
Me: Mommy, I did. I didn’t just meet him this past weekend!
Mother: You depend too emotionally on people. It’s not your fault but wait, grow more, emotionally and you will see that you don’t need people…
Me: It’s not like that, Mommy! He asked me, I said, ‘Yes’. I just told you.
Mother: So you meet a person one weekend and the next you…
Me: I didn’t meet him last week, Mommy! I met him the weekend before last weekend… I told you! Now you want to say that I never met him until this past weekend?
Mother: This weekend is a week since you slept over there, OK?
Me: Yes, I had met him the weekend before!
Mother: You will stop screaming. Where?
Me: It doesn’t matter where!
Mother: Where?!
Me: KEYWEST!
Mother: You will stop screaming!
Me: No, because…
Mother: Stop screaming and talk…
Me: I’ve been honest the whole time.
Mother: I know you’ve been honest but this is not good for you. I knew it! Even before you went there last weekend… I knew what happened…
Me: Knew what happened?
Mother: I knew it was going to happen like this. I knew it because, you know what? I am your mother and I’m living here and I’ve learned a lot.
Me: Yes but Mommy, I just told you. I even told you nicely.
Mother: And I’m saying this nicely to you; this is not good for you. Don’t do it!
Me: Yeah, because you think so? I can if I want to, Mommy.
Mother: Oh yeah… Just make a list of how many people had made laughs out of you and abused you; they’re using you! For a clever person like you, this is so clever!
Our fight went on for a while that night. She didn’t believe me when I told her that I first met Bruce on March 2nd, so I told her half the truth. I told her that I had sneaked out that night while her and my father were asleep, Bruce picked me up and we went to KeyWest and came home before they were awake.
I got yelled at and put on a guilt trip because of that. My mother reminded of what could’ve happened while I was out without her and my father’s knowledge. That I could’ve been in a car accident and died… That anything could’ve happened. I apologized and promised that I would never do it again. I’m going to keep to that promise, just as I am going to keep to the promise I made the weekend before… From now on I will tell my parents where I’ll be going, what time I will be back and let them know that I got to wherever safely and whatnot. It’s for their sake.
We’re just dating. Nothing hectic, nothing serious, yet… If ever… I wish my parents would realize how much I have grown over the years. I’m not going to make the same mistakes like I have before. Like last year for example; was all a huge mistake. It’s over and done with though and I couldn’t really care less about it. I’ve cried my tears and am not really bothered much about it. It’s as if that whole year never even happened. It’s weird, I can’t explain it, it’s just how it feels. I don’t think I am making any sense right now, anyway…
I’m tired of this shit. Thinking about all the “drama” literally gives me a headache…
So, his name is Bruce, he’s twenty years old and he is black. That will not sit well with some members of my family. I don’t even want to wonder how my grandfather would react when he hears about me dating a black man. Bleh!
i dont see why your mom should be such a mean person. i mean, surely if the dude likes you and cares for you then that shouldn’t be a problem. maybe its just me but i think your mom is overreacting.
aw hunni, sucks that you guys faught like that.. but be honest and no sneaking out .. she does have a point with that one, but I totally understand where you are coming from
I love that photo on your cam. SO SEXY! I have been with a white guy, a black guy, and am now dating a guy who was adopted into the U.S. but born in Korea. Our motto is Interracial couples do it better!
Stay sexy & stand up for what you believe in. And tell your mom it’s crap of her to believe that a guy would sooner use you than really like you. That’s fuct.
I agree with J. In my opinion race should not matter. If Bruce is going to treat you well, your Mom should be happy that you’ve found someone who is making you happy, and someone you enjoy spending time with.
I hope everything gets better with your Mom. She sounds like she’s trying to help but doesn’t realize that by doing this she’s just going to push you away.
That sounds almost just like my own mother.. so annoying. She always rubs my past mistakes in my face, it doesn’t matter how happy I am or how well I’m doing. And I would definately hear about the interracial thing. But just try to talk to her more and tell her that you’re happy with him, he’s not trying to use you for anything, that he really just enjoys spending quality time with you. That’s how my mom got more open to my boyfriend, because she saw that he really honestly cared about me and that he wasn’t just trying to use me, like all the other guys in my past.
Oh hun. Sometimes two people just ‘click’ and it doesn’t matter what colour they are. I say go you!
As for your mother. She’ll get over it eventually.
Good luck! Have a great long weekend!
Never tell your mother anything! That is what I have learned
Wow, that’s…annoying. Haha. I hope your mom isn’t like that on a daily basis, though? When my boyfriend and I started going out, I didn’t tell my folks. The first time they met him, he was introduced as a friend, but mom did ask if he was the boyfriend. I said no. And theeen, the second time my mom met him, she asked again. I told her the truth. My folks are pretty cool about those things.
Helga wrote:
Unfortunately, she’s like that most of the time, towards me.
I’m happy for you!
You will be treated like a godess.
I’m sorry about your ma, but whatever, fuck that shit. And I’m just so excited to see you with a black guy. :] I wish I could find someone.
ok from another mother’s point of view, i don’t think your mother is wrong at all. she’s looking out for your best interest, she just wants you take things slowly. i think it’s a bit fast too randi and i don’t want you to get hurt. take a step back or put yourself in your mother’s shoes.