I went to the bank on Saturday morning to get a new debit card because the one I possessed had expired. I was waiting in the short but slow queue for more than thirty minutes and noticed that some people from the long but moving queue for the “Express tellers” came and took my place at the “New cards” teller. That pissed me off so I complained to a supervisor and was taken to one of the tellers to get my new card.

I tell the teller that I need a new card because mine had expired, so she takes my ID book and old card to the back, I assume and came back along with my new card. She sits down and starts “linking” the new card and PIN to my account and after a few minutes she excuses herself because she brought the wrong card. So off she goes to the back and returns after several minutes and proceeds to link the card and PIN again with this other card.

She types away on the keyboard in front of her and hisses every time after she hits enter. She tells me that she can’t get the card linked to my account and will call her supervisor to help her. Her supervisor comes over and shows the teller what she was doing wrong and walks away as the teller begins to link the card again, “Please don’t go…” whines the teller to her supervisor, but she doesn’t listen. After a few minutes the teller hands me my ID book, new card and PIN receipt and asks me what I would like my ATM withdrawal limit to be.

She asks me if R2000 is fine, well it sounded like she said “two thousand”, I wasn’t sure so I asked “R2000?” to verify. She nodded and I said yes. I then have to sign for this ATM withdrawal limit and before I do I noticed that it showed 1000 instead of 2000. “Wasn’t this supposed to be two thousand?” I ask the teller. “I asked if one thousand was ok and you said yes.” I tell her that I asked for a limit of R2000, not R1000. She then makes it so and I sign for it, thank her and walk away with Victor and my new debit card.

I log onto the website that night to register for online banking and get an error after submitting my registration saying, “The card number and PIN do not match.” So I try it once more and it gives me the same error. I don’t even bother to try a third time because it says that three incorrect entries will result in a cancelled card. So I email the FNB support about this issue.

This afternoon I got a call from an FNB support agent. She asks me for my account number to check what’s wrong on their side. She then asks me why they gave me a new card when they were going to close my account, which was yesterday. I asked her why my account had been closed and she tells me it was due to inactivity over thirty days…

After that call, I get on the phone and call the branch where my account was held and asked why they gave me a new card… Only to close my account yesterday due to inactivity over thirty days when there were times I had not used my account for a few months at a time and only now they want to close it… And what had happened to my funds?

Well you are going to have to come here and talk to someone about it or open a new account. Enjoy your day, goodbye.

That was the only response I got before the woman hung up the phone.

What the fuck?

Tomorrow Victor is going to take me to that FNB branch to find out what is going on and see if I can get my account reopened. If not, I’m going to Absa to open a new account, I think.

I don’t remember how much money I had in that account of mine and if there was any, I want it back. Plus last Thursday I had over R1000 being wired into that account via MoneyBookers from my friend, David. If that money had gotten into my account before FNB closed it, I am going sue them because they “stole” it and secondly, I didn’t get any notice in regards to my account being closed.

I am not in a good mood at all today.

Oh but last night for dinner, I ate the best bolognaise I had ever made. Definitely the best I had ever made.